A Journey to Acceptance

Another day comes
and the blessings reach far beyond the universe
or so I think
With all of this known and forgotten at times
I have found myself in a pool of emotions
where the depth of who I am is sitting at a distance
Observing I am sure
yet Identifying a lot Yes.
The bounds that keep me asleep have returned
I am lost in the wounds of unpleasantries.
Asleep is the place where I find myself
When I couldn't face the emotions that stirred within me
Asleep is where I find my self, when the thoughts have become part of my identity
I know how I got here
Tired as I am
Yet I throw my hands up to the Sky
Why do I hide this cry?
Wake up from this dream
Don't let perfectionism enter in this scheme
But yet...
observe this need to be perfect
Knowing you are trying your very best
Sometimes the universe throws you  a lot
Sometimes you can catch it before you rest
Its okay to feel what you feel
Its okay to think what you think
Look to that which is absolute
And see it as just one of those days
In this world that we choose of this work
It sometimes seems like a lot
I offer this to my divinity
I bring light To all that has come about
Needing to be perfect, sad when I'm not, feeling icky, thoughts of pain linger about
All this I see.
And the lesson for me as of now
I can't change or get rid of what has shown up
But I can see it, observe it, bring it to the light
and let it all unfold
But I throw my hands up to the sky
Oh Lord
I surrender that of the Human I am
I surrender to All that I am

Received by Stephanie Sarasvati 1/13/2011

Synopsis:
This poem is a raw journal entry.  This poem carries a lot of my suffering.  This poem reminded me how hard I try to be perfect on this path.  Catch every emotion when it arises.  Transcend it... ect ect ect...  and I subconsciously want to get rid of all the uncomfortable things that show up.  But the truth for me is Consciousness, light, acceptance (not get rid of or change).  For me the emotions in the beginning where very uncomfortable, but I couldn't contain it all, then from not addressing or giving my emotions the space that they needed, it moved on to the way I look at myself in the mirror, where all the harsh thoughts arise, which feed the emotions. So then my emotions where all lit up, and then a nice meal to dull it all.  So this is where I wrote from.  And as I was writing... I realized that underlying thought of wanting to be perfect... here it is again, why didn't I transcend it ect... and in the end... observing, bringing it to the light of my consciousness, accepting where I am and total surrender to the Source of Divinity is all that I can do.

I share this with you, to hopefully remind you in times that are hard, that you are not alone.  and maybe with all that comes at us at times, maybe this can inspire us to surrender and accept.  This is where we are right now, and through it all you know what..."it's okay".  We are perfect just the way we are.