I am a raging storm
Withered by the emotions that take part in me
Lightening strikes
Winds start to stir the very existence under my feet
All alone
Is how i feel
Yet as I set foot in this storm
Consciousness is what I look to find as I anchor
The tools that have helped me reach the place in which I stand
Raging waters moving in
Like the plummeting of tears on that violent day
Do not speak of it
So I have been told
Do not pour out your grievances unto another
Hold it in
Not in a suppressed manner
But in a way where you can breath it
digest it, and let it burn itself out
Fool I am to think I can be a master of such a task
Oh God,
My will is there, deep within the heart of my soul
I see the aim you have given me
And it shows up
Yet the violence of my words still find there way out
I know that I am not perfect dear One,
but I ask for you to bring me another anchor
So that I may ride the storm
With less outside harm
and let it burn up
In the seeds of my karma
So I may also do this for our World.
Pollution is an onset continuum in this millennium
Where it is reflected in our outer pages of being
Where do I rise from my fall
and open into the seeds of healing
For I, Thee, All
And for the Earth
I want to help replenish her soil.
By Stephanie Sarasvati 3/30/2011
Synopsis: In the Gurdjieff Work, I have been given an aim not to express negative emotions. For when we express it we pollute those around us, like the pollution of the earth, in the invisible realm. In my heart I want to jump into it and do it. Yet as the week unfolds, it has been a challenge. Emotions are energy, if we express it outward (negative emotions) then we spew it out and feel drained. We can use these emotions as fuel. For transformation. Yet in all of this, there is another message, Effort is wonderful, beautiful, important. But nobody says you have to be perfect. Keep trying, don't beat yourself up for the limitations that confront you now. That is it. Hope this finds some space for you in your journey home.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Coming Home
I am grateful for the Aim of the work
reaching into myself
with the will of another
Looking to find the light into the mechanics and habits of man
It is a human body that I have taken into this incarnation
and the lessons and frustrations and unconsciousness
take there toll from lifetime to lifetime
Yet in me as I gain the support of the Spiritual
and am held with the inspirational
I move through my aim
For the mechanics of my behavior and personality
Are not me
But with my effort I get to see a different aspect in me
I reach to find the string of hope
As I plunge forward on this journey
Grateful for the wise one's who bring me home
Grateful that I take the courageous first step
To use this aim to bring me home.
Received by Stephanie Sarasvati 3/11/2011
Synopsis:
An Aim is part of the Work that Gurdjieff talks about. It is in his basic teachings. It is meant to shift us out of our mechanical behavior and personality. I am grateful for this great teaching, for it is a great part of the path to consciousness.
reaching into myself
with the will of another
Looking to find the light into the mechanics and habits of man
It is a human body that I have taken into this incarnation
and the lessons and frustrations and unconsciousness
take there toll from lifetime to lifetime
Yet in me as I gain the support of the Spiritual
and am held with the inspirational
I move through my aim
For the mechanics of my behavior and personality
Are not me
But with my effort I get to see a different aspect in me
I reach to find the string of hope
As I plunge forward on this journey
Grateful for the wise one's who bring me home
Grateful that I take the courageous first step
To use this aim to bring me home.
Received by Stephanie Sarasvati 3/11/2011
Synopsis:
An Aim is part of the Work that Gurdjieff talks about. It is in his basic teachings. It is meant to shift us out of our mechanical behavior and personality. I am grateful for this great teaching, for it is a great part of the path to consciousness.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Period Blues
I've got a case of the period blues
there seems to be nothing that can get me in a good mood
the only thing that wants to come into the mix
Is a sweet treat that cannot be missed
And even in those times that nothing can be
You can give me a piece of bread
That can be a treat.
All alone I want to sit in my bed
and sleep away the exhaustion from the hormones at hand
Period blues
You have a story to tell
Everything in life feels like a story of hell
Nothing right
and always wrong
Heavy with emotions
Its the same old song
On the 28th day
The blues start to come out to play
If your lucky you may have an early hormonal visitor
Reminding you to check your day
So put it on your calender
Remember when the Blues is heading your way
Fill up with the sweets
and the bread will be a treat
And play it all out
For many of us woman it sends us in a bad mood
So lets laugh at the period blues
Cause sometimes that's all we can do.
Received by Stephanie Sarasvati 2/10/2011
Synopsis:
Sometimes laughter is the best remedy. My friend Susie says "hormones rule".
there seems to be nothing that can get me in a good mood
the only thing that wants to come into the mix
Is a sweet treat that cannot be missed
And even in those times that nothing can be
You can give me a piece of bread
That can be a treat.
All alone I want to sit in my bed
and sleep away the exhaustion from the hormones at hand
Period blues
You have a story to tell
Everything in life feels like a story of hell
Nothing right
and always wrong
Heavy with emotions
Its the same old song
On the 28th day
The blues start to come out to play
If your lucky you may have an early hormonal visitor
Reminding you to check your day
So put it on your calender
Remember when the Blues is heading your way
Fill up with the sweets
and the bread will be a treat
And play it all out
For many of us woman it sends us in a bad mood
So lets laugh at the period blues
Cause sometimes that's all we can do.
Received by Stephanie Sarasvati 2/10/2011
Synopsis:
Sometimes laughter is the best remedy. My friend Susie says "hormones rule".
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Retrieving
Endless copies of old dreams
Reoccur in this waking dream
I am not this thought
I am not this body
So I sit in the place of existence
In a place where I am accepting totally where I am
Uncomfortable, irritable, tense
Breathing into this scene of the dance
Remembering a tool of yesterday
Feeling in the background my belly
Splitting my attention for something
Remembering to let go of the longing
Peace by piece I show up
To retrieve the shattered pieces of me
And to remember the whole of who I am
And bring the center of peace
Into this sleepless awakened dream.
Recieved by Stephanie Sarasvati 3/9/2011
Synopsis:
I am accepting without judging in this moment, exactly where I am. Splitting my attention, remembering as best I can. I must heal those parts of me that have been shattered in the past, by giving them space acceptance and presence.
Reoccur in this waking dream
I am not this thought
I am not this body
So I sit in the place of existence
In a place where I am accepting totally where I am
Uncomfortable, irritable, tense
Breathing into this scene of the dance
Remembering a tool of yesterday
Feeling in the background my belly
Splitting my attention for something
Remembering to let go of the longing
Peace by piece I show up
To retrieve the shattered pieces of me
And to remember the whole of who I am
And bring the center of peace
Into this sleepless awakened dream.
Recieved by Stephanie Sarasvati 3/9/2011
Synopsis:
I am accepting without judging in this moment, exactly where I am. Splitting my attention, remembering as best I can. I must heal those parts of me that have been shattered in the past, by giving them space acceptance and presence.
Monday, March 7, 2011
I See So I Become Free
I am
Here I am
Right here right now
Accepting the ebb and flow
of all that is in me
all that I observe with my real eyes
and the I's of things once remembered
I sit in a place where I am aware
Aware of my body
and all the prana of life that flows through the cells of my being
And in this awareness my real eyes
see the eyes of thought that seek to know, understand, or reflect on something from the past
It brings itself present through fleeting moments
So instead of trying to block them
or repress them
as if they do not exist
I observe them
My being observes them
Allowing it all
Understanding with Real eyes
letting it travel and digest
so that I am free
Moment to moment
I lose myself in thought
Only to come back to remember who I am
Seeking nothing in this state of grace
Letting the rivers flow take me
Grounding in my inner take of my body
Knowing that each thought must be seen
So that the I who is here
can blossom
and reach its petals closer and closer to the sunlight.
Received by Stephanie Sarasvati 3/6/2011
Synopsis: This poem is inspired by my morning readatation. Based on the work of Gurdjieff and one of his students Jeanne D Salzman in the book "The Fourth Way". Also inspired by my mentor. She knows who she is. This poem is a practice. It is a practice of presence. It is a process of remembering oneself. First I split my attention by focusing as I was writing on sensing my body. This was a grounding to keep me present. I then with no attachment observed my thoughts that arose and let them fleet away. I was inspired by the "Work" in remembering that our thoughts are not who we are. But first we must see them and allow them... and then in the process become free of them. In the past, I would try and repress and block my thoughts any time they showed up. Today I allow them, see them, and know they are not who I am.
Here I am
Right here right now
Accepting the ebb and flow
of all that is in me
all that I observe with my real eyes
and the I's of things once remembered
I sit in a place where I am aware
Aware of my body
and all the prana of life that flows through the cells of my being
And in this awareness my real eyes
see the eyes of thought that seek to know, understand, or reflect on something from the past
It brings itself present through fleeting moments
So instead of trying to block them
or repress them
as if they do not exist
I observe them
My being observes them
Allowing it all
Understanding with Real eyes
letting it travel and digest
so that I am free
Moment to moment
I lose myself in thought
Only to come back to remember who I am
Seeking nothing in this state of grace
Letting the rivers flow take me
Grounding in my inner take of my body
Knowing that each thought must be seen
So that the I who is here
can blossom
and reach its petals closer and closer to the sunlight.
Received by Stephanie Sarasvati 3/6/2011
Synopsis: This poem is inspired by my morning readatation. Based on the work of Gurdjieff and one of his students Jeanne D Salzman in the book "The Fourth Way". Also inspired by my mentor. She knows who she is. This poem is a practice. It is a practice of presence. It is a process of remembering oneself. First I split my attention by focusing as I was writing on sensing my body. This was a grounding to keep me present. I then with no attachment observed my thoughts that arose and let them fleet away. I was inspired by the "Work" in remembering that our thoughts are not who we are. But first we must see them and allow them... and then in the process become free of them. In the past, I would try and repress and block my thoughts any time they showed up. Today I allow them, see them, and know they are not who I am.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
A Chant
As I wonder through my travels today
In life's splendid incarnations of different depths and different colors
all existing in the play of life
I find the words "Remember thy self"
to be the one that explodes into my consciousness
... and yet how can I share with what I am if I don't know what it is
So as to inspire to thy self in who is me
What is it to know thy self?
and so I pause
Take in a few breaths...
I am taken to the center of all storms
To the center of all personalities and forms
All catastrophes
and I am calm
My body is relaxed in a state of ease
that I can feel the inner muscles of my fingers
I can feel the rhythm of my breath
inhales dancing into the exhales
There is space, silence, quiet
and a feeling of utter gratitude
as I sit in this place
The world is moving,
and even when I am moving
there is a beam of light within me
centered, relaxed calm, quiet, observing
All that is.
And the most encouraging of lessons for me is
I can allow this
I can chose this
I can dissolve all else to this
and in my life today, as all that comes into the fray
I move to remember this
I chant over and over again
"Remember thy self."
Received by Stephanie Sarasvati 3/3/2011
Synopsis:
"Remember thy self" is so beautiful and so deep. I wanted to share my experience with the reader, as maybe it can inspire a remembering in oneself.
In life's splendid incarnations of different depths and different colors
all existing in the play of life
I find the words "Remember thy self"
to be the one that explodes into my consciousness
... and yet how can I share with what I am if I don't know what it is
So as to inspire to thy self in who is me
What is it to know thy self?
and so I pause
Take in a few breaths...
I am taken to the center of all storms
To the center of all personalities and forms
All catastrophes
and I am calm
My body is relaxed in a state of ease
that I can feel the inner muscles of my fingers
I can feel the rhythm of my breath
inhales dancing into the exhales
There is space, silence, quiet
and a feeling of utter gratitude
as I sit in this place
The world is moving,
and even when I am moving
there is a beam of light within me
centered, relaxed calm, quiet, observing
All that is.
And the most encouraging of lessons for me is
I can allow this
I can chose this
I can dissolve all else to this
and in my life today, as all that comes into the fray
I move to remember this
I chant over and over again
"Remember thy self."
Received by Stephanie Sarasvati 3/3/2011
Synopsis:
"Remember thy self" is so beautiful and so deep. I wanted to share my experience with the reader, as maybe it can inspire a remembering in oneself.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Take Your Breath With You
The day starts busy
and that is okay
The mind wakes up busy
and this is okay
but wait...
What can I do
to spiritualize my life
so that my connection to the source
is always by my side?
and so ...
"Dear child live your life
find the courage to silent your mind from time to time
The overwhelming challenges that seem to take you out of this light
is just a stepping stone when you realize the divine.
So here it is simple and pure
Find your breath, feel your breath, focus on your breath
Even as these words fill this sheet.
Don't try to complicate it all
with fancy dialog and practices
keep it simple
just observe your breath.
Take a moment slow down
and breath
Embrace the busyness where life takes you
for this is how it is supposed to be right now
and breath through it
keep it simple
As you bring space into those moments.
Don't wish to change your life
from not engaging in it
Awaken the fearless warrior and embrace it
Just find some space while you breath through it
Dear child.
This is how you can spiritualize your life today!"
Received by Stephanie Sarasvati 3/2/2011
Synopsis:
During my meditation this morning it was a busy mental one. lots of thoughts and worries and what I have to do today etc.... I tried to do some of the different techniques that are a little difficult and fancy at times when I am so distracted. And then it came... "Stephanie... just keep following your breath - keep it simple" and just like that there was an awakening after a few minutes. A little space from my busy mind.
and that is okay
The mind wakes up busy
and this is okay
but wait...
What can I do
to spiritualize my life
so that my connection to the source
is always by my side?
and so ...
"Dear child live your life
find the courage to silent your mind from time to time
The overwhelming challenges that seem to take you out of this light
is just a stepping stone when you realize the divine.
So here it is simple and pure
Find your breath, feel your breath, focus on your breath
Even as these words fill this sheet.
Don't try to complicate it all
with fancy dialog and practices
keep it simple
just observe your breath.
Take a moment slow down
and breath
Embrace the busyness where life takes you
for this is how it is supposed to be right now
and breath through it
keep it simple
As you bring space into those moments.
Don't wish to change your life
from not engaging in it
Awaken the fearless warrior and embrace it
Just find some space while you breath through it
Dear child.
This is how you can spiritualize your life today!"
Received by Stephanie Sarasvati 3/2/2011
Synopsis:
During my meditation this morning it was a busy mental one. lots of thoughts and worries and what I have to do today etc.... I tried to do some of the different techniques that are a little difficult and fancy at times when I am so distracted. And then it came... "Stephanie... just keep following your breath - keep it simple" and just like that there was an awakening after a few minutes. A little space from my busy mind.
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